Elsewhere in the world of gender:
- Marty Nemko on how men don't have it easy in society.
- The always-funny Kelly Oxford tweets: New numbers: 100% of girls with good posture are called 'bitches'.
- Here is how to give a great man to man hug. Highly informative. I would just add that if you're doing a goodbye hug it should be at the very end of the interaction. Any sooner, and you risk having to pass time with the person you just hugged / said-goodbye-to — could it get any more awkward?
Elsewhere on the web, and on completely different themes: I was moved by Tony Judt's reflection in the NYRB about trying to sleep with Lou Gehrig's disease. Eric Falkenstein's detailed critique of Nassim Taleb in general and Black Swan in particular was interesting — I'm not qualified to comment on the more technical finance / math points, but I do agree that Taleb's (and many others') constant bashing of "experts" has gone way overboard. I learned quite a bit about the history of American foreign policy from George Packer's review of Peter Beinart.
9 comments on “A Question Men Ask Themselves”
Another recent gender piece is Hanna Rosin’s “End of Men” in the July/August Atlantic.
Summarizing, she argues that because women dominate men in attending college, graduation, and acquiring advanced degrees, that female prospects in general seem better for the new skills-based economy of the US.
I don’t disagree with most of her piece. Though being a male with a Masters, I look at from a slightly different perspective: the rise of these educated/skilled women is also going to put the relatively fewer educated men in higher demand as well, in both the labor and dating markets, assuming employers and women desire males who are educated. (Scarcity!)
I’ll say that I’m sure Rosin considered this, but spending any airtime discussing that some males also benefit by the rise of women, she partially undercuts her main argument.
Why does it have to be awkward if you hug someone to soon? Is it worse than if you left without a hug when the circumstances (everyone’s hugging, different culture) make it appropriate?
Awkwardness in and of itself is a meme and by buying into situations that (one) society agrees are awkward (meeting the parents, men hugging men, talking on the elevator), we make the meme stronger.
I’ve experienced this when visiting different countries where kissing, hugging, touching, even being semi-dressed around each other isn’t awkward at all. In America, it can be different from family to family.
So I think you can hug whenever seems right and if it happens to be a little early, so be it. Take it in stride and give another hug. Who cares?
How’re you liking “Man’s Search For Meaning”? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Let’s put that man-to-man hug into historical perspective:
It's great. I reviewed it awhile back on my blog.
It depends on culture to culture, how ‘awkward’ the hugging is. For instance in my culture (Pakistan, across the country), hugging between men is perfectly normal. In fact, in certain situations, hugging even complete strangers is the ‘right’ thing to do..
That Marty Nenko article makes me sick. 80% of veterinary students are female? OH NO! That more than makes up for the surgeons, engineers, lawyers, dentists, architects, physicists, politicians and IT professionals that are mainly men! Maybe you should make the entry requirements a game of golf and a drinking competition!
No, I have a better idea. Just make veterinary surgeons better paid. That’s a certain way to make those positions more desirable to men. See, veterinary science is one of those “caring” professions where the nurturing job satisfaction aspect is supposed to make up for the fact that you get paid peanuts.
Much like nursing, teaching, social work and a host of other female-dominated workforces.
FYI, men are human beings and also long to work in caring/human service and receive gratification from their work.
Unfortunately, the gratifying nature of the caring jobs make them desirable to such a large number of applicants that supply and demand drive down the salaries.
The men, after a brief flirtation with the idea of gratifying work, soon realize that they must be the ultimate backstop in their family’s finances and cannot afford such luxuries as job gratification. They march off to soul-crushing corporate jobs and factory roles for 40 years.
Consequently, the women can afford to take the risk of a lower salary. They select work that provides them some gratification through the face-to-face service they render humanity. Meanwhile, the men are dedicating their one life to laying down new asphalt in the hot sun or reading another boring spreadsheet on a product that they don’t give a crap about.
Actually, if we’re going to be completely honest here…. then the question all men ask themselves approximately 67 times per day is, “Would I bang her?”
The most common answer among men aged 18 and over is, “It depends.” Under aged 18 it’s not a question of if but “how many times.”
Rule #1 which all fathers should teach their daughters is- Men are dogs, it’s just that some are better at disguising it.