“Would you win the hearts of others, you must not seem to vie with them, but to admire them. Give them every opportunity of displaying their own qualifications, and when you have indulged their vanity, they will praise you in turn and prefer you above others…Such is the vanity of mankind that minding what others say is a much surer way of pleasing them than talking well ourselves.” – Benjamin Franklin
“It’s important to agree with people if you want them to think you are a genius. For most people, the definition of smart is ‘thinks exactly like me but even more so’.” – Scott Adams
4 comments on “To Be Liked and Seen as Smart, Flatter Others”
Undeniably it works. Unquestionably it is unsatisfying.
Another insightful post!
I’ve noticed that when I listen to people, and let them do all the talking, they invariably “flatter” me by telling me what a great conversationalist I am.
If i want to disagree with someone, sometmes i hold back and ask the person “what makes you feel that way?” This is so i can get to know the person’s background and why he/she feels that way. In turn, you get to experience what it feels like to be living in that person’s world.
And when i do feel it is really not right, i say, ” Really? I would had thought….”
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.