Book Short: Anonymous Lawyer

Anonymous Lawyer by Jeremy Blachman is simply hilarious. It’s a satirical novel written in the form of blog entries and internal emails by a hiring partner at a big LA law firm. A must-read for anyone in a law firm or considering that career path. Here’s the fake law firm’s web site. Here’s one of the first blog entries:

I see you. I see you walking by my office, trying to look like you have a reason to be there. But you don’t. I see you sneak by at lunchtime, when you know my secretary will be away. You think I’m naive, but I know what you’re doing. But she’s my secretary, not yours, and her candy belongs to me, not you. And if I have a say in whether or not you ever become partner at this firm — and trust me, I do — I’m not going to forget this.

And stop stealing my stapler, too. I shouldn’t have to go wandering the halls looking for a stapler. I’m a partner at a half-billion dollar law firm. Staplers should be lining up at my desk, begging for me to use them. Go back to your office — I need you to count the number of commas in this three-foot-tall stack of paper. I don’t want to see you in the hall for at least another sixteen hours. Remember: I can make or break you. I hold your future in my hands. I decide whether you get a view of the ocean or a view of the dumpster. This isn’t a game. Get back to work. My secretary. My stapler. MY CANDY.

(Thanks to Brad Feld for buying this for me.)

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