Movie Review: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Last year when I was living in Colorado I spent a bunch of time with my friend Stan James and along the way he gave me a copy of Jean-Dominique Bauby’s book The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. It was fantastic. I read it soon after reading Chasing Daylight, a book that left me in tears (something that rarely happens), and they were an interesting pair. Chasing Daylight is written by high powered exec who documents how he spends his final months before dying of cancer. Diving Bell and the Butterfly is also written by a high powered exec who documents how he spends his days paralyzed — his whole body frozen except for the blink of his eye, which he uses to communicate letters and words to a speech therapist who then types out the sentences.

Both are powerful first-hand accounts which capture the preciousness of each day we live. They produced, for me, an effect of profound sadness followed by inspiration to "live each day of my life," and to feel grateful for that opportunity. The books also are a bit soothing for those of us who fear death and who expect nothing after death.

Last weekend I saw the movie version of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. It’s awesome! I highly recommend it, regardless of whether you’ve read the book. It’s in French with English subtitles. I imagine it would be easy to screw up this kind of movie since the subject matter is so delicate. Yet this one pulls it off. It opens from the perspective of Bauby, paralyzed. We look out his eyes. Excruciating. Eventually we see him from the outside but the sense of stillness penetrates every active moment in the movie. Amazingly, despite the theme, the movie has several funny parts — laugh out loud funny, not cynical funny. This makes it more than bearable to sit through for two hours. The acting all around is superb.

I don’t see nearly enough movies. I’m glad I saw this one. It deals with a hard topic with infinite grace and has left me thinking about it several days later.

Darjeeling Limited and Family Relations In Adulthood

The other week I saw The Darjeeling Limited, a new Wes Anderson movie about three American brothers who go to India for a spiritual experience and bonding. It was good: funny, quirky, interesting cinematography. Seeing the three brothers try to re-establish both their own brotherly bonds and their relationship with their mom (who had fled to India to become a spiritual healer of sorts) made me think of a point that’s been rattling around in my head about family.

For most of my single, 20 or 30-something friends (their siblings and parents are usually alive and they don’t have spousal families), there’s a pretty strong correlation between their overall happiness level and their family relations. People who have bad or non-existent family relations seem to lead a more up-and-down life, whereas those who still get along with their parents and siblings in adulthood are in a better, happier position.

The obvious observation is that when you’re young and dependent, family matters because they exert so much control on your life. If you want to be miserable, have miserable relationships with your parents and brothers and sisters. The less obvious observation (ok – maybe it’s still obvious) is that even when you’re not financially dependent, even when you’re out of the house and building your own life, family relations still seem to impact your happiness in ways many people underestimate.

I know, we hear it over and over: Family matters. But here’s the rub: when we talk about the importance of family, we often talk about it in mushy wushy terms — the kind of later-in-life, formative, intense family bonding experience that Po Bronson wonderfully describes. That’s a fine ideal. Yet all I’m talking about is simply getting along. Neutral. Not bad. The key is to not have actively negative feelings. The key is for everyone to tolerate each other at the Christmas get-together and for family stress not to consume undue psychic energy.

There are plenty of books for teens on how to deal with your family. There are plenty of books for the recently-married on how to start your own family. There seems to be a market for those in-between these two life stages on how to maintain what you’ve got.

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On a related note, check out this touching reflection in the NYT “Lives” column from a guy who takes care of his father — and they, too, go to India, this time to trace the father’s roots together. Money graf:

We were both suffering from the need to say something in keeping with the scale of what we’d been through. Quite a problem, considering his default of emotional understatement and mine of lapsing into a crying jag at the first sign of human warmth. Standing there with his collar up and his left eye watering, he looked older than I’d ever seen him look. The bus arrived. We embraced, still reaching for something to say. In the end he just said, “Thanks for looking after me.”

Inspirational Music and Movies

I love inspirational music, movies, speeches, stories. Who wouldn’t want to be more inspired to feel more, do more, love more, dream more?

I recently came across the YouTube video of We Are The World, the #2 most popular music single of all-time in the United States. I had never heard of it, but apparently it was a music sensation in the 80’s. Some of the biggest American pop stars of the day came together and collectively recorded the song to raise money for African relief work. To see Paul Simon, Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen, Ray Charles, Tina Turner, Lionel Richie, and many others all together is magical. If you want an inspirational boost to start your day, watch the performance.

Elsewhere in the inspiration category, I saw the movie Joyeux Noel ("Merry Christmas" in English). This tells the true story of Christmas Eve, 1914 during World War I. The Germans, French, and Scottish lay down their arms and sing carols together. Touching, and highly recommended. I also saw The Pursuit of Happyness, the true story of a near-homeless man in San Francisco who turns his life around after numerous bad breaks and financial challenges.

Here’s my del.icio.us tag (other links) for "inspiration". Leave other recommendations in the comments.

Summer Movie Roundup

I’m trying to watch more movies this summer. I’ve been consulting friends and family and peeking at the IMDb top 250 list before adding a movie to the Netflix queue. So far I’ve seen:

The Pained Veil — A cholera epidemic hits rural China; idealistic western doctor goes to help; doctor’s wife has an affair. This is a fine movie but the affair plot line seemed a bit old to me, fantastic imagery of China notwithstanding.

The Departed — Awesome. Awesome lines (Alec Baldwin is genius), awesome plot twists, awesome acting. I loved it. I recommend it.

Seven Up — The famous British documentary which tracks a group of British children at age 7, 14, 21, and onwards. I watched the kids at 7 and 14 — fascinating to see how they develop. The group is socio-economically diverse. The interviewer asked the rich seven year old if he’s traveled much and the boy responds with a handful of names of countries. The interviewer asks a poor seven year if he’s traveled much and the boy says he’s been to the museum and local park.

Doctor Zhivago — In anticipation of my trip to Russia, I had to watch this classic. It’s long, but worth it for any traveler to Russia.

Munich — An intense movie about the Israeli olympic athlete hostages in Munich 1972. While there are debates about the accuracy of Spielberg’s efforts, and there always will be in a film such as this, I didn’t find it heavy handed one way or another. I recommend it.

And the Band Played On — An interesting film about the AIDS epidemic in the 80’s, Regan’s inaction, San Francisco’s role as a hub for activism and infection, and some of the colorful scientific personalities trying to understand it all. The acting is sub-par but in terms of delivering the story the movie does a good job. It made me want to learn more about the AIDS situation both then and now (it still ravages many parts of Africa).

Ah, I already feel more hip and informed. Let the Netflix queue roll on….

Immediate, Incautious Intimacy: A Trait of the Privileged?

"It’s a peculiar trait of the privileged: immediate, incautious intimacy."

This is from the excellent movie Notes on a Scandal. When I heard it, I paused the film and jotted it down. How true! I have heard this point before. At a summer camp, say, the rich girls by sundown have talked about their first sexual experience whereas the less-well-off are still chatting about their favorite movies. Why does this dynamic exist?

The movie "Notes on a Scandal," by the way, is well worth watching. By its description you might pigeonhole it into the generic "infidelity" category — a movie about an affair, with a twist that appeals to male teens everywhere since it’s an attractive female teacher sleeping with her male student. It is far more complicated, though, and explores the theme of loneliness in stunning fashion.

As part of my quest to watch some of the best movies ever made (I watch so few movies – 4 so far in 2007 – that I want each to be awesome), I also recently rented The Shawshank Redemption. I had high expectations and the film met them. There’s a reason it’s #2 on the IMDb Top 250 list.