Category Archives: Life

I’ve been thinking some about solitude. This past weekend I spent 5 AM Saturday till 9 PM Sunday without talking or communicating with anyone practically. Everyone around me was speaking a different language and I was not connected to email or phones. And I was pretty much at peace with myself – indeed, I enjoy my own company and can easily entertain myself with my own thoughts (or a good book, of course). But this 48 hour stint of solitude made me reflect on the common personality question: Are you an introvert or extrovert? I think to the outside world I am perceived as highly extroverted – I thrive on social interactions and communication skills are my strong suits. I would consider myself charismatic. (I will dutifully add that in 8th grade I was voted "Most Popular," which I think says something BAD about me at that point in my life…the popular kids from middle school usually turn out to be the jerks and bullies later on. I will also add that charisma is highly overrated.)

At the same time I see myself as concurrently introverted. Many of my school peers seem to only operate when interacting with friends. Friends, friends, friends. If you’re not hanging out with someone, then life sucks. There are many times when I would much rather be alone than with others. Perhaps when my school peers are alone they are trapped amidst their own thoughts and opinions, and they don’t like them. When I’m alone I am trapped in a metaphysical Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, with each door leading to another room filled with ideas, problems, solutions, arguments, analyses. In my opinion you cannot truly think deeply when you are surrounded by others.

So I guess I’m somewhere in the middle of the introvert/extrovert continuum – I get an intellectual and emotional high off of social interactions while also prospering when I’m alone.

A teacher of mine remarked today that she thinks sadness is an important emotion. I was reflecting on that later this evening thinking that I’ve certainly felt sad many times in my life but never a deep, stinging feel of sadness usually associated with death. No one very close to me has ever died and I’ve only been to one funeral in my life. I have had dreams where someone close to me dies and I feel a profound sense of loss. And then I wake-up. In some strange, unexplainable way, I almost want to experience such a moment soon. I’ve never been a very outwardly emotional person and I think going through a profound loss would put me in touch with parts of me I have not yet discovered. In any case, I thought back to the fantastic post my friend Andy Sack had a few months ago, where he comments on the importance of sadness:

There’s nothing like a quiet, deep sadness to get you in touch with the profundity of life — having a sad year because of the loss of someone you love or because of bad relationships or some painful memory is something that we all experience but rarely appreciate and celebrate.  And while sadness inherently isn’t something that is fun — it is a strong emotion and is a heck of a lot better than feeling numb to the world.

Well put, Andy.