Category Archives: Careers

One recurring theme in emails I get from twenty-somethings is the "what I am going to do with my life" anxiety. Often this anxiety involves a mixture of emotions: self-doubt about one’s supposed strengths, no discernible "passions" (that all-important word career counselors repeat until it’s devoid of meaning), the temptation to do what your parents want or what society will see as most prestigious as opposed to what you really want to do, etc etc. All normal issues to anyone who is lucky enough to have meaningful choices about how they spend the early years of their life.

I’m hardly the expert on how to resolve these questions — heck, I grapple with them myself! But it can be fun to brainstorm with people about their options.

My high school friend Ted Conrad, now a sophomore at UCLA, airs these emotions out loud on his blog in his traditionally funny and intelligent and honest way:

I’ve been (jokingly?) telling people my most recent five year plan for the past few days. It involves: a junior year in Scotland, an on-time graduation (you’re welcome, Mom), a trip to the 2008 World Cup in South Africa, wandering around Africa and Madagascar, a return to San Francisco, a job, an apartment in the Mission (Whats up, Natty), and general carousing and traveling. Then it gets serious. In this hypothetical life, I will apply to both UC Berkeley’s Law School and the PhD program in Geography. I will dedicate my life to whichever program accepts me, putting my future in the (capable?) hands of the State of California.

Now I seriously doubt that I will be indecisive and foolish enough to do something like this, but the point is that I have: a relatively broad range of interests, a semi-rational adoration for Cal, people urging me in many directions, poor decision making, and a perceived need to have impressive diplomas. Now, I know the correct course of action is to calm the fuck down, try my hand at a variety of things, and make decisions based on my needs and wants, rather than catering to the wishes of others. But this is easier said than done, and my dreams of San Francisco liberal domesticity (coupled with a vicious stranglehold on City Hall) are as powerful as my aspirations for youthful dalliance and exciting near death experience. As they say, "life is short" so perhaps I should fast-track my plans of a South of Market household and two kids named J.T. and Barry. And wouldn’t this require a career choice sooner rather than later? Answer… I’m not choosing anything until after World Cup…

Ted’s approach seems wise: give the post-college years serious thought but don’t let any resulting stress hijack enjoyment of the present, make some loose plans but be honest that life often gets in the way, and most of all, just be conscious of all the conflicting advice we young folk receive from people with their own agendas.

Of course my advice to Teddy — not that he’d ever ask me — would be to spend a couple years focusing on his ping-pong game. Chicks dig a strong backhand, and Lord knows he could use some improvement in that area.

Penelope Trunk has a great post on her blog about why "Do what you love" is bad career advice:

The pressure we feel to find a perfect career is insane. And, given that people are trying to find it before they are thirty, in order to avoid both a quarterlife crisis and a biological-clock crisis, the pressure is enough to push people over the edge. Which is why one of the highest risk times for depression in life is in one’s early twenties when people realize how totally impossible it is to simply “do what you love.”

Here’s some practical advice: Do not what you love; do what you are.

Read the whole thing, especially if you’re wandering in search of the ideal job. Naturally, this being Penelope, her "tanking sex life" somehow finds its way into the post. (Here’s Penelope on why weekly sex with a consistent partner is fantastic for your happiness.)

Penelope’s great. When I visited her in Madison, Wisconsin this past spring, she barraged me (in good spirit) about not being more vulnerable on my blog. Over the next few weeks we had spirited email exchanges on the "non-professional" aspects of a person, whether age matters for emotional development, and other juicy topics. When I talked to her the other week on the phone, she was almost always one degree more honest or blunt than I expected — that’s Penelope for you! Needless to say, I’m a fan, and encourage you to check out her book Brazen Careerist as a stocking stuffer.

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Original content coming up:

• How my friends at Duke raised money on Facebook
• The importance of intellectual "shock" experiences
• What teachers everywhere can learn from one of my professors
• Reflections on first semester of college
• Push-ups, pull-ups, and crunches
• Trusting first impressions
• Illusion of knowledge is worse than knowledge itself
• Should moderates be glorified?
• "Things happen for a reason"

The Morning News has a great page with tips of the trade for a variety of occupations. Helpful rules of thumb. Favorites excerpted below.

Actor
Every actor eventually is called upon to act drunk. Most do this by slurring their speech, stumbling around, and perhaps drooling a bit. This is what a freshman drama teacher calls “indicating.” A better way to appear drunk is to act very, very sober. Walk very carefully, and try not to let anyone see that you’re inebriated. This is much more subtle and will register on a level the audience won’t immediately recognize.

Attorney
Do whatever it takes to fit your contracts onto a single page: Format with single-spacing, use a 10- or 9-point font, and reduce the margins to less than an inch. Most people assume any contract that fits on one page will be simple and straightforward, and even sophisticated negotiators can be charmed by the lack of a staple.

Balloon-Twister
When you’re twisting balloons for children, never tell them what you’re making. The majority of the finished products—despite your best attempts—almost always look like a dog, a blastula, or something vaguely phallic. If you identify what you’re actually attempting to make, the children will respond to your finished product with, “That doesn’t look like a [insert animal name]…” But if you make the animals and then ask, “What does it look like to you?” the child’s imagination will take over, turning the blue, four-legged balloon into Blue from Blue’s Clues, the blastula into a Pokemon, and the phallic object into an elephant.

Cartographer
Mapmakers will often use “copyright traps,” bits of information in their maps that are purposefully wrong. They might label a body of water “Lake Strongbad,” for instance, and then examine the next editions of competitors’ maps to see if the incorrect information makes an appearance.

Desktop Support
When desktop support technicians resolve a ticket, they are usually required to document the cause and solution to the problem. Supervisors see these records, so you have to be professional, but can usually get away with using the acronym “PEBKAC” in situations where the user caused the initial problem. PEBKAC stands for “Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair.”

Forester
Never walk behind another person in the woods, because yellow jackets build their nests underground. The first person in line will disturb the nest when they walk over it, but it’s the poor suckers trailing behind who catch the wrath of the stirred-up bees. You can generally tell the more experienced forester in the group because he’ll be the one in the lead.

Graphic Designer
If you have a client who is unable to approve a proposed design without putting her stamp on it, just put an obvious error in the proposal: a logo that’s too large, a font that’s too small, or a few judiciously seeded typos. The client requests the change and feels she’s done her part—and your design, which was perfect all along, sails through to approval.

Juggler
With any routine under seven minutes (which is almost all of them), you only really need one thing: a good closer. And there are only two things you really need to know about a great closer. First, it needs to be impressive. That sounds obvious, but most beginning jugglers think “difficult” and “impressive” are synonymous. Your closer must look hard, but there’s no real reason it has to be hard. Secondly, you should intentionally blow your closer on the first two tries. If you get it on the first try it looks too easy, but if you “miss” it a few times it looks harder and builds tension.

Paramedic
When paramedics arrive at a car crash or similar accident, they very, very rarely announce any casualties at the scene—almost all deceased will be pronounced “dead on arrival” at the hospital. This is because it involves about 10 times more paperwork to announce someone dead right in situ than it does to say they expired in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

Technical Support
When helping someone fix their computer over the phone, and you want them to see if all the cables are plugged in correctly, don’t ask, “Have you checked to see if the cable is plugged in?” because the customer will always say, “Of course I did, do you think I’m a moron?” Instead say, “Remove the cable, blow the dust out of the connector, and plug it back in.” The customer will most likely reply, “Hey, it’s working now—I guess that dust really builds up in there!”

Waitress
When you realize you have forgotten to submit an order to the kitchen, go to the table and mournfully say, “Did you just hear that crash?” Nine times out of 10, the customers not only will say “yes,” but actually will believe they just heard a noise of some sort. You can then sigh sadly, and say, “Unfortunately, that was the chef dropping your food,” and then scurry back to the kitchen to hand in the neglected order.

(hat tip: Ramit Sethi)

My company Comcate is hiring for a youthful inside sales person.

For fun, I aliased myself on the email address resumes are sent in to. It’s shocking how poor some people’s career skills are.

Every time I see articles about "How to prepare and send your resume" I think: "Ugh, how many of these articles need to be written? There must be a million such articles and books."

But apparently people aren’t reading them. So far I’ve seen:

• Cover letter – body of the email with resume attachment – is first impression. Yet, people just say "See my resume attached." Huge missed opportunity.
• Attachment – "resume_feb06.doc" is also a missed opportunity to brand your name. It also shows that you’ve been looking for a job for so long that you need to re-name it each month. How about: "Ben_Casnocha_Resume_for_Comcate.doc". Makes it easier for employer to organize.
• Grasp of English – it’s important for people to show strong writing skills, yet when the first sentence is "to whom it may concern: please find my resume attached And i look forward to talking with you soon and Thank You very much for your time and Your consideration" it makes my eyes glaze over.

The best one I’ve seen is where someone included a personal testimonial at the top of the resume, such as "John Doe is an excellent sales executive with experience doing XYZ." Even though I’ve never heard of the quoter, it instantly provides credibility since it’s "objective" and encourages me to read on.