Thanks Bow Tie Club

I have great difficulty completing certain basic tasks in life. Tying knots. Using a map. Pronouncing certain words (I had a speech therapist when I was younger). My Mom would also claim I have difficulty hitting the toilet during standing bathroom sessions, but on that I think my fellow men can agree that no woman will ever understand the complex physics involved.

In any event, tying ties has always been a challenge, but my unwavering dedication to the bow tie supercedes any inherent impediment. I just love bow ties. And now I love them even more. The Bow Tie Club just sent me a free bow tie after they saw me wearing one and linking to their site on my blog. Thanks Kirk and Bow Tie Club!

I guess this means I’ll need to Photoshop myself into an Armani suit and see what happens…

Comment of the Day: Where Are References to Non-Professional Emotional Events in My Life?

Steve Silberman of Wired left a poignant comment on my post Partitioning the Emotional Events in Your Life:

That’s all true in a professional sense, and is a valuable insight. But one notable thing about reading this blog is that, for documenting the internal and external process of a passionate 18-year-old guy, there are remarkably few references to emotional events that don’t somehow involve work, your career trajectory, and other practical matters. It’s a little too easy I think for people to see that and say, “Well, thank God! Ben is not one of those kids who waste their days mooning about failed or potential romances. It’s a sign of his advanced maturity.”

Maybe you should also be thinking about discovering and cultivating the emotions that you are capable of with others, as you also develop the ability to strictly “partition” these feelings?

I am blessed to have Steve in my life, not only for his intelligence but because he tells it as he sees it and frequently challenges meon points (which I love much more than simple agreement!).Steve is extremely empathetic and projects a high level of emotional intelligence, a capacity I’ve repeatedly argued more important than mere IQ. I’ve found it impossible to be dishonest with Steve — not that I’m dishonest with others, but I have this sense that he sees right through me, can anticipate what I’m about to say, and if I don’t say what I’m truly thinking, will continue to dig. He is, after all, a journalist for a reason! I say this for two reasons. First, it’s because I think Steve identified something spot-on, not unusual for him and me. Second, it’s because I think Steve is projecting how he deals with these topics in life (and how he would if he were blogging) — openly and honestly.

I think I write so prolifically about professional stuff – if you count things like effectiveness or general intellectual banter as “professional” – because I think I’ve figured a bunch of things out in this domain. And I can share them and refine them. On the personal level, I still have many questions. I have never fallen in love, felt intense grief or sadness, or even figured out the rules and regs of physical attraction. These aren’t things I want to blog about – yet. (Side note: I rarely think about personal and professional as split — work and fun are usually the same for me!)

I concede that discovering and cultivating emotions of the heart-tugging sort is not something I’ve done a lot of in my brief time on this planet. Intellectual camaraderie has been the primary driver in my relationships (as well as humor – I love funny people). No, I don’t spend all day every day engaged in serious discourse about worldy things. God no. To the contrary, I tend to enjoy carefree moments with friends, relish the interpersonal rapport I have with them, and take a serious interest in their lives and the emotional ups and downs we experience together. I have close personal relationships. But the spirited pursuit of ideas and intellectual growth is my overarching consumption right now, and I’m loving every second of it.

But, you say, these are not mutually exclusive ideas: Ben, why can’t you be equally committed to intellectual life and to emotional life, such as a romance, crying with a friend, and so forth? Get a girlfriend for Christ’s sake! Well, I still have a ways to go in terms of personal growth. Give me some time! But mainly, I’m really really happy and excited about life right now. I do subscribe to the mantra, “If it ain’t broke, fix it anyway” but I also know that adolescence is a crazy, psychotic period in people’s lives, and I’m not terribly interested in changing a formula that’s worked well so far.

I’m not convinced, by the way, that the more stereotypical teenage routine of sitting around and “waste[ing] their days mooning about failed or potential romances” is particularly useful if the goal is developing and cultivating deep emotions.  I know teens who do this and I’m not sure they’re any farther along on the “emotional development” continuum than me. More, so much of “failed or potential romance” is cheap shit, not the real stuff, at least from my vantage point. Romance, in most teenage culture, is analogous to TV dinners. See: fuck buddies.

I should also note that this is a blog. It is a personal blog, far more personal than most, but it is still a blog. Thus it’s not the totality of me, it’s simply the me I choose to write about. Which is most of it.

Finally, I have posted a little on these topics. “Ben Is Insensitive and Like a Machine” or I’m Going to Break Ben’s Shell or How Do Hyperambitious Workaholics Get In Touch With Their Sensual Side. I’ve posted on sadness being the most underrated human emotion. I’ve posted on never having felt deep sadness or grief (a double edged blessing).

Thanks Steve for bringing this up!

Days 10 and 11: Dresden, Germany

Dresden is a city in Germany most known for being pummeled near the end of WWII by British and American warplanes, but as I experienced over the past two days, they’ve done a remarkable job rebuilding the city from scratch. Though their tourism industry is growing, Dresden is still somewhat off the beaten path, providing the freshest look at true German culture and everyday life for me so far.

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You visit Dresden to soak up the amazing architecture. It glimmers with old style charm while still being newly built, thus making it nicely devoid of any decay typical of old buildings. It is a bit odd to think about building new buildings in an old style. See my post on cultural authenticity for more on this.

There are four bridges which span across a river which runs through the city. Walking over the bridge with the sun beating down on all the buildings has proven to be one of the prettiest moments of the trip.

My Mom did a day trip to Meissen (home of the factory which produces the china by the same name) which she really enjoyed. It’s a 2 hour boat ride with plenty of bike trails to boot. I spent the second day at a conference, exercising, catching up on some work, and thinking about globalization.

A couple days in Dresden is well worth the train jaunt from Berlin.

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Cultural Authenticity: Moroccan Cuisine and New Old Buildings

My position on the beauty of cultural globalization hinges on a difficult word: authenticity. Some critics think any kind of synthetic culture is not authentic, not real. I have two interesting real world examples from my recent travel which illustrate the complexity of this part of the argument.

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This is a restaurant in Dublin, Ireland which boasts "authentic Moroccan cuisine." What exactly makes it authentic? Do they have Moroccan chefs? Does it taste as good as it does in Morocco? Since I’m not familiar with Moroccan cuisine, I will use another food I’m more familiar with: sushi. I’m fairly confident I could find sushi at the best sushi bar in San Francisco that’s as good as most sushi in Japan. Is my sushi less authentic? Another example. At Denver Airport a few months ago I bought Chinese food served by Arab immigrants staffing the restaurant. The Chinese food was as good as your basic Chinese food you’d find in any average restaurant. Does the fact that the food was served in an airport by non-Chinese workers mean anything?

In Dresden, Germany they have spent hundreds of millions of euros rebuilding all that was destroyed in WWII. They are rebuilding in the "old" style of the early 20th century. So the building may be built in 2006, but to someone who wasn’t aware of the reconstruction effort, you could easily guess from its architecture that it was built in 1920. Is this "new oldness" as authentic as the building in the next own over that actually was built in 1920 but looks identical to the Dresden building?

How the Response to the Italy vs. U.S. Soccer Game Explains Some European/U.S. Differences

After the U.S. tied Italy in the World Cup in a bloody match that left several players with red cards (kicked out) and various injuries, the commentary fell in one of two camps: a) the Americans displayed heart and valor in the surprising effort or b) “The U.S. team makes its own publicity true and turns the game into war” in an effort that shamed the country and the sport. Roger Cohen, who writes the “Globalist” column in the International Herald Tribune, had a great analysis a few days ago (TimesSelect) about how the two reactions speak to the differences in European and American vernacular and values. He writes, “Europe lives in a post-heroic and post-militaristic culture” whereas “Wars, warriors, blood, and military bases: such images, and locations, are the stuff of everyday American life.” Indeed, the American players were housed at Ramsein Air Base prior to the match and striker Eddie Johnson said the American team is “here for a war” while the goalie Kasey Keller said the nine men left standing in the game “bled today for our country and our team.”

From advertising to the metaphors of high-school sports coaches, the message of life as a battle inseparable from valor, individual heroism, sacrifice, grand dreams and allegiance to the Stars and Stripes is often insistent. In Europe, of course, the vernacular is a very different one. It is, in general, that of a continent that saw too many of its own cut down in the 20th century to see in military heroism anything but a destructive illusion. For Europe, peace is a core value; Americans see the world another way.

Hmm. He doesn’t say “Americans see it the opposite” — which I think is accurate delicacy. It’s not as if peace isn’t a core value for America, it’s one of a few. Cohen continues,

In this age where America cannot go anywhere without stirring controversy, it was inevitable that a football game would stir some more. And the arguments have led me to ponder whether I would rather live in a heroic or post-heroic culture, whether I prefer guileless enthusiasm or sophisticated cynicism. The American quest for heros can easily turn tacky. Hero itself is an overused word…But the instinct behind the tackiness should not be scorned. Europe does scorn very well. It is a reactive power, and what it principally reacts to is the United States. Being the chief protagonist of history is more difficult; you ahve to put yourself forward and you are going to conspicuous mistakes. But I prefer the risk-taking culture that is ready to commit those errors in the name of big ideas to the one that derides the mistakes.

Naturally, Cohen concludes he thought the Italy-America game had an “elemental magnificence.” I didn’t see the game, so I can’t comment on the accuracy of the analogy, but I do I think some of the cultural contrasts work. What do you think?