Gretchen Rubin of the excellent blog The Happiness Project interviews me on the topic:
Gretchen: What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Ben: Stimulating, soulful, laughter-filled conversation.
Gretchen: Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?
Ben: Dwelling on a negative thought that seems to just cycle through my head. Wish I had better mind control so I could say to myself: "Accept thoughts on X, deny thoughts on Y." The passage of time, I've found, is the only reliable way a negative thought flushes out of my system.
Gretchen: Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve find very helpful?
Ben: I collect tons of quotes and mantras. One I read yesterday I liked: "The world is not comprehensible, but it is embraceable." – Martin Buber. Not sure it's my ultimate mantra, but it's a good one. I spend most of my cycles trying to figure out why things work they way they do, and I need to remind myself that some things just *can't* be rationally, logically explained.
Gretchen: If you’re feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?
Ben: Treadmill and push-ups. Talking to family and long-term friends. And trying to cheer other people up (in the process, I cheer up myself).
Gretchen: Have you always felt about the same level of happiness, or have you been through a period when you felt exceptionally happy or unhappy — if so, why? If you were unhappy, how did you become happier?
Ben: I'm more even keeled. I think I have a high set point. But, the past few months I've felt more funks than usual, and while it has been difficult I think hitting lower moments makes you appreciate the highs more. How am I dealing with it? Confronting the unhappiness directly and moving swiftly to eliminate what I see as the causes — the events, people, things, etc — from my life. And trying to be at peace with the fact that life is cyclical and some days / months / years will be better than others.
Gretchen: Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
Ben: I think about it / work on it. If you don't actively think about it, you outsource what it means to others, like the media, and they tend to promote a materialistic conception of the word. So I do think it's possible to pursue happiness without ever really knowing what it means, or without ever thinking you'll actually *arrive*.
Of course, one of the main ways I think about happiness is by reading the blog The Happiness Project. Have you heard of it? Some great stuff there. 🙂
@ “So I do think it’s possible to pursue happiness without ever really knowing what it means, or without ever thinking you’ll actually *arrive*.”
As every earth-bound deity and the lovely Eartha Kitt know, you can dance your way to happiness. There’s no place to ‘arrive’, because you’re already there.;-)
LOL!!
Ben, this is the first time I have ever heard anyone say that doing push-ups makes them happy!
I like your “Stimulating, soulful, laughter-filled conversation” comment – deep soulful conversations seem rare in many peoples lives today, where superficial interchanges are the norm. Laughter is always good!
Nice interview.
All the best.
Much research shows that endorphins are released during/after exercise!
Still laughing……
Yes Ben, I know that and indeed I’ve heard people say it of running, biking, swimming, yoga, weights and aerobics (I’ve even experienced it doing some of those)- but never, ever before have I heard someone say it about push-ups!!!
How many can you do?
😉
150 a day.
I have been exploring making happiness a habit lately to show my kids I love life as much as I love them. Quotes are great. I could probably use the exercise method more than I would like to admit.